it works for me.

"Come freedom, come. Come freedom, come. Come breathe...come breathe...come breathe on me. Trickle down and save the world two hands that I can't see...."

Never in my life would I have imagined.....I wish I had words for it. It's like this every day change that happens. Nothing is EVER the same. Ningun dia es igual. Every time I open my eyes....there's something new. It's impossible to be in a routine...because there isn't a single thing that is yet familiar, old hat.

It's kind of like one of those weird Bourne Identity kind of movies...where the past is seemingly erased...becasue I was thinking about it: this is my life now. And everything about it is changed. I can't reference "this is how it was in Texas...or this is how it was in the States...WE do things THIS way." None of that matters here. None of it.

From being able to turn wherever you want to, whenever you want to, no matter the light color. To seeing blatant sexual harassment in the workplace. To just flat out not being able to "drive thru" a restaurant when I want to. To just being moved out of the way when I am blocking someone's path.

It's not to say that any of it is bad...it's just to say that sometimes I feel like I live in the circus...and then on days like today, when I went back to Guadalajara for the first time since leaving, it was like sweet release. For some reason, it felt familiar. It felt like I knew what I was doing. I knew how to get around. I knew exactly where to go. It was nice to experience that. I think it was actually really good for me.

I think I dwell on this sort of inbalance that I experience, but I also think it's part of acostombrandome....a part of adapting and going through this cultural interchange that I call my life. There's no zone of entrance and exit...it's just a flow....

And as much as the newness beats me up and spits me out.....it's so rich....it's something like being given a gift that you can only unwrap one inch at a time...one inch per day....and someday, eventually i'll be able to get the full effect of everything that the package offers, but for now, i get to go layer by layer...piece by piece. and it works.

it works for me. sometimes i just have to lay my head back, feel the breeze, and sigh....other times, i just have to crack up laughing.....other times, i just have to shake my head and remember that this isn't what i'm used to. and that's so good for me. it's enriching. even invigorating, i'd say. yeah.